I think I’ve found a way to reverse the aging process.  Do what you should have done 25 years ago.  Instead of preparing for the end of your career at a large corporation join a startup.  The benefits are endless including the following:

  • You don’t have to worry about climbing the corporate ladder because there’s nothing to climb.  In addition, you don’t have to worry about back stabbing because you don’t have anything your handful of fellow workers would want.  Every position comes with the same salary and benefit package…none.
  • You get to have any position you want in the company.  You want to be an engineer?  Put on the hard hat and start designing something.  You want to be head of marketing?  Open up Powerpoint and start building presentations.  You want to be the president?  Start calling investors and begging for money.  In no time you’ll be working 100 hours a week.  And think of the benefits to your resume!
  • You don’t have to worry about your spouse compaining that you’re spending too much time in the office.  There is no office to spend time at.  Indeed, by working virtually (translation: at your dining room table) you get to spend all sorts of “quality” time with your spouse.  And before long they’re ready to find an office job themselves.
  • You don’t have to worry about becoming entangled in a career-ending office romance.  In fact, you don’t even have to worry about the distraction of conjugal romance (see the previous point)…allowing you to spend more time on your startup.
  • You don’t have to worry about when and where you’ll take your 2-3 weeks of vacation.  Who needs it?!  Vacation is for corporate types who only work 50 hours a week. 
  • And, best of all, you don’t have to pay taxes.  With no income and no benefits what’s to tax.  Take that Uncle Sam!

So, if you’re one of the few people still drawing a regular salary, benefits, and an office you call your own, you might want to reconsider your situation.  What do you have to look forward to?  Early retirement?  More time reading novels, puttering in the garden, or walking the beach?  By working for a startup you get to deplete your savings and improve the odds you’ll be working long after your peers retire.  And, by my logic, if you don’t retire you can’t get old.  Eat your heart out Ponce de Leon!

Advertisements